What My Dog Taught Me About Boundaries (Yes, Really!)

If you ever need a masterclass in setting boundaries without guilt, look at a dog. Sounds strange? Stay with me—I promise this will make sense.

Dogs have stronger boundaries than most people-pleasers I know. And they don’t overthink them, apologize for them, or feel bad about them.

At the same time, we see dogs as loving, loyal, and eager to please (especially the people they love)—so clearly, boundaries and kindness aren’t opposites. They get to be the fun, gentle, affectionate companions we love… while also communicating their boundaries clearly (and often, we love them even more for their quirks).

Let me explain.

Lesson 1: Dogs Rest Guilt-Free.

My dog takes a nap whenever he feels like it. Middle of the day? Nap. Sunbeam on the floor? Nap. Guests over? Nap. (After the initial excitement and making sure everyone has been sufficiently greeted, of course.)

Does he feel guilty? No. He just rests—because his body needs it. Or even just because it feels good.

And yet, how many times have you felt guilty for taking a break?

My mind used to go into overdrive: "I should be doing more.” "I can’t rest yet—I should at least XYZ first.” "Look at me being all lazy again.”

But here’s the truth: Rest isn’t a reward. It’s a requirement. And you and I deserve it just as much as our furry friends do.

Lesson 2: Dogs Say No Without Over-Explaining.

Have you ever offered a treat to a dog who wasn’t in the mood? They don’t take it. Ever tried to play with a dog who just isn’t feeling it? They simply walk away. No guilt. No over-explaining. No awkward, "Ahh, sorry, maybe later... I mean, I do appreciate the offer... I just... uh..."

Just a simple, unapologetic "No, thanks."

Imagine if we set boundaries like that. No justifying, no worrying about whether someone is mad at us—just a clear, firm decision based on what feels right for us.

Lesson 3: Dogs Let Themselves Experience Joy.

Dogs know what they enjoy. They know exactly what they like—whether it’s belly rubs, chasing a ball for hours, or that one specific scratch spot behind their ear (my dog Barley sounds like Chewbacca when you scratch his ears)!

And when they want something? They ask. No worrying, “Are they doing this just for me?” No overthinking, “Are they getting bored? Should I stop?”

Nope. They’ll paw your arm to let you know they weren’t ready for you to stop scratching, and they’ll keep bringing you their toy until you clearly tell them, "Game’s over, buddy."

They live in the moment without making our feelings or needs their responsibility.

Can you imagine how free we’d feel if we did the same? No guilt, no overthinking, no shrinking ourselves to keep others happy—just living fully, like a dog sunbathing on the patio.

Your Permission Slip: Be More Like a Dog.

✔ Rest without guilt.
✔ Say no without over-explaining.
✔ Stop carrying other people’s emotions and let yourself experience more joy—just for the sake of it.

If this made you smile, send it to a fellow recovering people-pleaser who might need this reminder today!